Author Topic: Need Advise :(  (Read 153 times)

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Need Advise :(
« on: June 27, 2017, 11:21:04 AM »
Age: 29y/o (2017), female.

I need some advise on my situation right now. 

I have a group of very close friends (4 of us), who've known each other for more than 10 years. We were very close to the extent that we know each other's family in and out. Sometime about 2 years ago, I made a terrible mistake and got addicted to gambling. I misplaced the trust my friends had in me, and cheated their money (individually) in order to gamble. Alas, when they found out about what really happened, they confronted me a few times but I was feeling so ashamed and I didnt know how to face them so I kept myself away from them. As time passes, they stopped trying (after 2 months?). I keep distancing myself as I was also somewhat affected that no one really cared when I was in the midst of a lawsuit.

During the past 2 years, while I am recuperating for my own mistakes (having to juggle family relationship / debt / self esteem /  social stigma) it was very difficult for me as they were once a very huge part of my life. I tried to salvage our friendship, but it wasn't as simple as I though as I wasn't a part of their life anymore. Since young, I've always imagined us being the bridesmaid of each other's wedding and I dont think that is going to happen anymore. I always thought that our friendships were strong and could withstand any blow. Im not undermining how much harm I've caused them but I really didnt expect this to happen. 

As I said they were a huge part of my life, and although pretty much everything in my life now is on track, a part of me is dead. I want to be back with them so much, but I dont know how to start (I have texted some of them, but it is not like before and they feel very distant now). 

I know I have done them wrong and I can't expect my friends to accept me unconditionally. On the other hand, it really saddens me that I am not a part of their life anymore. 

Please let me know if I should still pursue this friendship (and how), or should I just stop doing anything and move on? 

P.S: I also feel that unless I decide what to do about this (it is dragging me now), I will feel very burdened and affected with my life. 

XOXO